Hi I'm Kimberly. On weekdays I'm an account executive at a toothpaste firm. Saturdays and Sundays I turn into Roger.
Some would consider Roger a cannibal, but he's really not. He's a connoisseur of fine food. He only eats the prettiest of girls.
Like this one I picked up last night at Q Bar's Friday Nite Madness. She was supposed to be my Sunday night dinner, but seeing her all trussed up and helpless nowI can't resist. She's gonna have to be my lunch today.
Hmm ahhh I wonder what kind of knife should I use. The sharp Japanese one? Or the one I stole from my ex-boyfriend? Decisions, decisions.. Ahh, I don't think I'll have time for leisurely stabbing today. I think I'll just use the chopping knife.
I enjoy preparing my meal just as much as I enjoy the meal itself. The cutting of flesh, the blood...
Oh, I'm having her belly for lunch. I got this really good deal on this industrial strength microwave, and it cooks human flesh really well. It's not so good for turkey, but for human meat tops.
Yep. It's done now. I like to enjoy my meals in front of the TV. Ahh, I wonder what's on today.
Ahh.. what's that? Is that a program on the future?
Ever wonder what food would look like in the future? We tackle meals today on Wave of the Future.
It's the 27th century and you're jonesing for a burger. What do you do? Hop in your jet car and zoom to the nearest burger joint of course.
Only instead of surly, pimply teenagers serving you, you have a full array of quick-serve food packs that you purchase from vending machines. You place these ready to eat mix-packs in special ovens that cook them for you in a matter of seconds, and voila!
End of News Program:
What's that I'm hearing? Eww Prepackaged meat? Soup in powder form? Am I hearing what I think I'm hearing?
Ha! I'm the luckiest dude in the world. I'm so happy to live in the present. People from the future are suckers!
There's nothing like a fine meal of fresh girl meat to start the Saturday right. Prepackaged food, soup in powder form, that is not for me. Think I'll have a good weekend today. Mayber later I'll head out to the park or the playground, maybe pick up some girls.. Or maybe tonight I'll go...